Category: Motherhood

Never Grow Up 


These are my two precious daughters Nikki and Sam . 

 Time has flown by so fast and my little girls are now young ladies.  They are almost  ready to go out into the world without me holding their hands . 

 Even Though I constantly told them to “Never grow up,” they did. 

 I just heard the song playing “Never Grow Up” by Taylor Swift as I was driving home tonight. I have heard this song before but tonight I was overcome with bittersweet emotions. 

I had to pull over and park my car on the side of road because I was hysterically crying as the song continued to play. This is what I heard….. 

    “Never Grow Up” lyrics written by Taylor Swift 


  Oh , my little darlings you both have grown up and have become smart , confident ,compassionate and beautiful young ladies . I taught you to go after your dreams and make them a reality. 

Yes all mothers secretly wish their children will never grow up and just stay little .  Life however is not that simple . 

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This Princess has Scars 


I have scars some have been the result of a terrible rare disease that nearly destroyed the right side of my face. I was only 11 years old when this disease without a name suddenly appeared. I was seen by so many top doctors and specialists in NYC and nobody could diagnose what was happening to me.

Running out of options my desperate parents were recommended to see one of most respected innovative Dermotologists name Norman Oreintriech . His client list included Elizabeth Taylor, Andy Wahol , Cary Grant and so many others.


Dr Oreintriech was intimadating when my mother took me to see him for a consultation when I was twelve. He took a look at my face and told my mom “I have    never took on such a young patient, but, I am willing to try to fix the damage done to her face because even though she has terrible scars I can see how beautiful she was and will we be again.” Then he added “Honestly, if I saw no potential and if she was below average looking, I would tell you to not waste your money and your time and just take her home.” I still remember how those words changed my life and how it to be given “HOPE.”

       Dr Norman Orientriech gave me my life back. He slowly filled up face with small monthly amounts of silicone every month. I waited for hours sometimes in his waiting room filled with well dressed very attractive NYC socialite types of women. When I finally saw the doctor he would take photos of my face and inject over 100 or so painful silicone injections into my right upper lip and lower cheek and chin area until the small vial containing the carefully measured monthly amount of silicone was empty.The whole routine took about 5 minutes.  He would barely say anything to me or my mom except “See you next month.”

I teenage years were taken away from me socially. I still had tons of girlfriends who were “True Friends” and never left my side while I was disfiqured. They treated me exactly the same although there lives were all about going to parties and having boyfriends. I wasn’t jealous, I listened to their stories and was happy for them. If somebody in school made fun of me or called me things like “Scarface” and one of my many popular friends were present they would defend me and verbally attack  these few immature mostly male bastards.

Over 100,000 dollars and over a 100 or so monthly trips to Dr. Norman Orientreich , my face was finally almost scar free. The scars I endured battleing this illness emotionally would still haunt me till this day.

I was 22 years old, engaged and well, okay quite beautiful the last time I saw Dr. Norman Orientriech. I was all grown up and Dr. Orientriech looked younger every time I saw him over the past 10 years. He was now developing skin care products for Nuetrogena and Clinique . That day we both decided that I didn’t need any more injections. His job was done and the promise he made my mom and me over 10 years prior came true.

Mr. Orientriech wished me well and hugged me tight and like always he was in a rush to see his next patient but I could see he had tears in his eyes.

That was over 30 years ago.

On this Father’s Day I want to dedicate this post to Dr. Orientriech a dedicated dermotologist who invented so many skin products and procedures years before other top doctors in his field. He is also a loving father. His son David and daughter Catherine are both Dermotologists have their practice in the same NYC office.

I saw David Orientriech a few weeks ago for some touch-up work on my face. He told me that his dad was now retired and 90 years old.

At the end of visit David Orientreich looked at me closely and said to me “I finally know who the girl in the photo still sitting on his father’s desk for so many years is!”

“It’s you!” The girl in the photo was me indeed. What a honor!

Happy Fathers Day Dr. Norman Orientriech ❤️

 

 

Princess Spirit Week

  

I never knew what “spirit week” was before I moved to the south shore of Long Island but I soon found out when my older daughter entered high school. Last week my older daughter who is a senior taught her freshman sister how to rock Spirit Week. 

 Monday was the first day of Spirit Week and the theme was  “Pajama Day.” My daughter dressed up in a hooded “Care Bear” onesie. A few of her friends had the same idea. LOL!

 
Tuesday was renamed  “Tiki Tuesday.”  Everyone wore tropical type clothes that day. My daughter and her best friend dressed exactly the same. This is what she posted on Instagram. 
 
 On Wednesday the theme was “I Love the USA.” So as you could imagine everyone showed up wearing red white and blue outfits to show their patriotism. This is what my daughter wore and posted on Instagram. My daughter Nikki is the one in the red tutu!

  
 

 Thursday was “Costume Day” of course my daughter and her friends decided to dress up as Disney Princesses! My daughter was Sleeping Beauty ! No shock there because my daughter loves to sleep and take long naps after school .  

 
Okay not everyone wanted to be a princess as you can see in the photo above. 

 Friday was “homecoming Day” and the entire School dressed up wearing green “Cougar” teeshirts  which is their school mascot . 

 
Later that night I watched the “Cougars” football team win their homecoming game against a rival team. The homecoming King and Queen were crowned and the Cheerleaders didn’t stop cheering all night. 

 Every high school should have “Spirit Week.” Showing pride for your school is a beautiful thing!

My Princess Daughter Goes To Work

 

   A few months ago my 17 year old daughter Nikki came home and said “Guess what happened today?” Before I even had a chance to reply she burst out “I got a job mommy!”
     She totally caught me off guard considering the fact I had no idea she was even looking for one. She went on to tell me that she was in her favorite local boutique, Reign,where she frequently shopped and summoned up the courage to ask the owner if they were hiring. 

     The owner smiled and  asked her some basic questions about what grade she was in and her age. When my daughter informed her she was 17 and finishing up her Junior year in high school.  The owner then told her that she normally only hires college age girls that have some prior retail experience. Instead of taking her comments as a rejection, my daughter didn’t get intimidated and told the the owner that she loves fashion and was a quick learner. The owner was suddenly listening now! Nikki added that she lived minutes away from the store and had her own car to get there. Impressed by her attitude and determination looked Nikki up and down and commented “You certainly have the right look and style to work here.” Then she hired Nikki on the spot. 

     It wasn’t a easy transition for Nikki who suddenly had give up her after school naps and couldn’t hang out with her friends as often especially since she worked almost every weekend. She made some personal sacrifices but when she started to get weekly paychecks she had a new found sense of independence and I watched my little girl transform into a beautiful responsible young woman. 

    On my birthday she bought me a beautiful pair of Tori Burch sandels. I was so touched because I knew how many hours she worked to pay for them. I told her she shouldn’t have spent so much of her own money on a gift fot me but she dissagreed and said “Mommy, it’s the first time I bought you a present you deserve because I love you so much!” Of course I cried. 

     Nikki continued to work and she would come home with stories about customers who she helped find the “perfect” outfit to wear for a special ocassion or a college student who needed a whole new wardrobe. Nikki told me how she so good she felt  when she saw a customer smiling as they looked at themself  in the mirror in a outfit she helped them pick out. 

     That was about six months ago and my daughter still works there. It took very little time to prove to owner she made the right decision. Only about a month after she started working , the owner told her that although she was the youngest employee she ever hired and proved to be a valuable asset to her very busy boutique. She even was named “salesperson of the month” that affirmed  Nikki was doing a excellent job at Reign. 

      I also shop in this trendy store where I now even get a 20 percent discount! A perk of being Nikki’s mom. Lol. One day when I was in the store the owner pulled me aside and told me that Nikki was loved by her customers and the store staff. “I am adopting Nikki,” she joked.  “You can have her until she leaves in a year for college.” I jokingly repied.Then she said on a more seriously note “You should be so proud of yourself for raising a daughter that is so responsible, confident and respectful of others.” She added “These things can’t be taught at school.”

       As I left the store that day I thought to myself although me and husband certainly weren’t perfect parents we did a pretty good job raising our Nikki! 

       I am one proud mommy!

 

   Nikki and Me
    

Not Every Witch Lives In Salem

There are witches all around us. Most are good and have only the best intentions. I should know because my mother always claimed she was a witch! Like most witch’s she was a strong woman who fiercely loved and protected my family at any cost. My mother taught me while growing up that being a “good” person was more important than any religion. She warned me that although she felt most people were “good” I would come in contact with a few people in my life who were truly evil.  She seemed to have this 6th sense to spot a dark soul or what she referred to as having the “evil eye.”  

My mother didn’t have a book of spells or cook up a special brew to get rid of people who crossed her path with the intention of causing her and my family halm. All I know is she somehow fought back and they never crossed her path again. 

 Witches are misunderstood. My mom didn’t fly around on a broomstick or wear a pointy hat. However, she loved black cats and of course we had one that always sat on my mother’s lap. LOL! 

 My mother only wished the best for her friends and her family. She was a role model and such a positive inspiration in my life . Even though My mother called herself a “witch” to me she was angel on earth . 

   
 
 

   Happy Halloween!!!!!! 

Sexual Abuse Is Not A FairyTale 

When I was in my teens I made my first gynocologist appointment because I had a serious boyfriend and wanted to go on the pill. Since I came from a strict family I was too afraid to tell my mother or ask her advice on what local doctor I should see. I was young and scared so I decided I wanted to see a female doctor and found one online. I told nobody about my appointment and went to this doctor myself. She seemed friendly and knew right away by my nervous composure I had never had a internal vaginal exam. I remember she tried to tell me the exam was “No big deal, ” with a smile. I remember putting my legs in the stirrups and feeling very uncomfortable. She inserted her finger and then some kind of metal object into my vagina. It felt extremely painful and even though it was my first vaginal exam my I thought to myself that something about this exam was just not right. After what seemed like forever the exam was finally over. The doctor had this weird look on her face as she told me to get dressed. When I got off the table and stood up I doubled over in extreme pain. I thought to myself the vaginal pain was probably normal since it was my first exam. I drove home with my prescription for the pill and couldn’t stop my gut instict telling me I was sexually violated. A few weeks later I was having lunch with a friend of mine who told me over lunch about her recent visit to her gynocologist. Her story was almost exactly identical to my experience. I then asked her the name of her doctor and was sick to my stomach when I found out she saw the same female gynocologist I saw. My friend and I were both sexually abused by the same woman. We went together and filed police reports and we were told that they would look into the matter but informed us most likely nothing could be done about the compliants because we had no physical evidence she had sexually violated us. A few weeks passed and my friend told me that her father, who happened to be a cardiologist, looked into the matter after she decided to tell him about the still very traumatic experience. He found out at least twenty other young women also filed reports with local police that they were sexually violated by this doctor. We all had one thing he noticed in common, it was all our first experience being vaginally examed, and that was very disturbing the fact just how many others like ourselves were also victims of a sexual crime and never knew it! He then filed a formal complaint the state medical board. After a formal long investigation, the woman gynocologist who sexually abused so many young women had her medical license revoked. Over twenty years later I told my 17 year old daughter, who I suspected is sexually active, that when she is ready to see a gynocologist for the first time I would make all the arrangements and go with her. She smiled and replied “Of couse I will mommy I tell you everything.” The point I am trying to make is maybe my still sexually traumatic experience could have been avoided if I had the type of mother I could have confided in about my sexual issues. If you have daughters my advice is tell them never to be afraid to confide in you about anything. I can’t change what happened to me but I can make sure my two teenage daughters never have to go through what I did.
  

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Remembering My Mother

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My mother was very complicated. I can’t remember ever being hugged by her. She never said “I love you” or told me I was pretty. She was strict and I was afraid to upset her because she scared me. I can’t remember her tucking me in bed or kissing me goodnight. Despite her emotional limitations and the sad look in her eyes, I

was blessed with the best mother who loved her children unconditionally and devoted her life to her four children. I learned from her that actions speak volumes and saying “I love you “is just words . My mother also would never say goodbye. I asked her why and she told me she doesn’t say goodbye because one day goodbye would be the last goodbye. She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving us. My mom and I had issues of course because we were a lot alike. My mother I found out was married to a abusive alcoholic playboy who stayed out late with his buddies, and left my mother home till the wee hours of the morning. I know one thing he broke her heart and that is probably when she stopped saying those three little words, I love you. She went to Cuba and got a quick divorce and met my Dad at a dance a few years later. On their first date my Dad she ordered a lot of drinks and my dad dropped her off and told her he liked her but thought she had to work out some personal issues.  A year later he called my mom and asked her if she wanted to have dinner. They married a year later . My mom was a glamorous woman who never thought she would be the mother of four children. As I got older I understood why she was not affectionate because a piece of her never recovered from her first marriage. My dad was full of hugs and told me he loved me everyday. My mom and dad loved their family and gave us a privileged childhood. My father started a corrugated box company in 1960 with a phone service and a old blue van. By 1970 he had a growing company and moved to Long Island. My dad got very ill and my mom ran the business in NYC. She was a book keeper after High School and kept the business going while my dad was recovering. Three months later my dad returned to work and my mom never quit. She finally found something she loved to do and worked side by side with my dad for the next thirty years. They worked so hard and were self made millionaires by 1980. When my dad died in 2000 my mother ran the business with my brother. She refused to retire because she loved what she did and she didn’t need the money and spent a lot of it on me, my sisters and grandchildren. Money doesn’t buy love but it was her way to express what she could not verbally say. My mom always called at 7:30 every night. She was always there for me in every way. Then something changed when I had my two daughters, she would hug them and tell them how much she loved them. I was so glad she finally made peace with herself. She passed away suddenly in 2006 in her sleep. I never got to say goodbye. In loving memory of my beloved mother.

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