Category: Suicide,

Nobody Listened……

A few years after I experienced the tragic loss when a ex-boyfriend committed suicide, my brother confided in me that his close friend was telling everyone he was planning his own suicide.
This boy just recently watched his parents marriage end in a bitter divorce.  He lived just down the street from my house. I didn’t know him very well because he just recently moved to my north shore neighborhood, He always appeared to be happy and carefree whenever he came over our house. Now I was wondering after my brother told me his friend’s plan, what this 18 year old good looking only child was hiding underneath his smile.
I remember he had a bright blue expensive sports car and a cute girlfriend with long curly red hair, who worked in a children’s boutique just a few feet away from the store I worked in. He also picked her up after work in his beloved car.
Shortly after my brother told me that his friend was telling everyone he was going to commit suicide, his girlfriend became concerned and came to talk to me. She knew a little about my ordeal with Jeff’s suicide. She had to know by this point something was wrong with her boyfriend’s behavior. She told me she didn’t think her boyfriend was serious about taking his life and was just trying to get attention.
I totally lost it at that point and screamed at her “You have to get in touch with his parents right now!!!!”
She told me they were away in Florida. I had a flashback at this point. I remembered that Jeff’s father and his new wife were on a Princess Cruise somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean when they got the news of Jeff’s suicide. I had a really bad feeling about this boy. Planning a suicide takes careful planning. Like Jeff he planned on taking his life when one of his parents were away.
I was so angry that she was taking this so lightly or was she not telling me the whole story because she was too afraid to deal with this serious situation.
I then said to her, “Get me their phone number I will call them if you don’t.”
She never gave me the phone number that day. Nobody knew at the time it was less than 24 hours before this boy planned to take his life.
That Friday night this boy threw a farewell party for himself, but nobody took the theme of this party seriously.
I was on a date that Friday night and on my way home I noticed the whole block was filled with police cars and Flashing red lights. So many flashing red lights. I will never forget those lights.
I made my way into my house and my brother was sobbing in the kitchen. “He did it, He did it.” My brother totally was in shock.
After the farewell party broke up about midnight. This boy got into his favorite blue sports car and turned the motor on inside his closed garage.
Two hours after he said goodbye to his “friends,” he was now dead.
If anyone you know is talking about suicide and even if they seem to be joking about it, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!!!!!
Call 911 at once don’t wait. This life could have been saved if they only listened!!!!!!!!!

The Story of Jeff

I first talked about Jeff, my first real serious boyfriend in my post “A Summer Love.”
It was obvious Jeff had many unresolved issues when I entered his life including, his parent’s divorce and learning his mother was now sexually involved with other women.
Then add on the pressure of transferring to a new college and lastly dealing with me and what to do with our relationship as he prepared to leave for school late December. Jeff and I decided not to totally break up with each over but we also decided it would be okay to see other people if we chose too. I also introduced him to a co-worker I became really close too while working with her at a upscale north shore boutique. This girl was also transferring to the same university as Jeff. I knew she could introduce and help Jeff find friends since she was the type of girl, who could find the most popular desirable group of people anywhere she went.
Well she gladly offered her friendship to Jeff and as I predicted she introduced Jeff to the most popular fraternity on campus. He rushed the frat and endured the crazy hazing rituals and moved into their frat house. The problem was the guys in the frat mostly came from money had fancy cars and expensive recreational drug habits.
Jeff got caught up in their lifestyle to the point that he stopped going to classes and used tuition money to fuel his growing drug habit.
When Jeff’s dad found out about he was not attending classes he pulled Jeff out of school and he was forced to come home.
When Jeff came home he was different. He seemed angry all the time and he was in a very dark place.
We still spoke and got together once in a while but I was involved in new relationships and eventually Jeff moved on too.
It was right after graduating Hofstra University with a BA in Communications/Journalism when I bumped into Jeff at a popular north shore club. It was over a year or so since I last saw him. He and I started talking and I noticed he was in a very bad mood and was cursing non stop.
I wanted to get out of that club and away from Jeff. He was acting scary.
I walked out of the club and to my parked car and Jeff followed me.
At that point i said to Jeff, Do you want to get something to eat and talk?” I felt like something was really wrong with him and wanted to try and help him.
He replied, “I just wanted to walk you to your car and say goodbye.”
I thought ok, and hugged him and gave him a light kiss on his cheek.
What he said next would later haunt me for the rest of me life. He said, “Cheryl, I want a real kiss goodbye.”
So I let him hug me tight and give me a long kiss on my lips.
That was the last time I would ever see Jeff.
The next evening Jeff committed suicide by cutting his wrists and sitting in his running car inside a closed garage.
It turned out I was the last person to see him alive. Jeff was 21 years old.

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“I will never forget you and the sunshine you brought into my life.”

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