Category: Writing

Life Is Right In Front Of You ! 

 

When things get tough I reflect about my past. 

It’s funny I realize now how selective my memory is over time. The truth is 20  or even 30 years ago I dealt with horrible toxic people and situations that I hid away in my subconsciousness . 

It is what it is .

It was what it was. 

I try to deal with my life now day by day. 

I live in the present and have no idea what the future might bring. 

    Fuck The Past. 

     Fucking own it ! 

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This Princess has Scars 


I have scars some have been the result of a terrible rare disease that nearly destroyed the right side of my face. I was only 11 years old when this disease without a name suddenly appeared. I was seen by so many top doctors and specialists in NYC and nobody could diagnose what was happening to me.

Running out of options my desperate parents were recommended to see one of most respected innovative Dermotologists name Norman Oreintriech . His client list included Elizabeth Taylor, Andy Wahol , Cary Grant and so many others.


Dr Oreintriech was intimadating when my mother took me to see him for a consultation when I was twelve. He took a look at my face and told my mom “I have    never took on such a young patient, but, I am willing to try to fix the damage done to her face because even though she has terrible scars I can see how beautiful she was and will we be again.” Then he added “Honestly, if I saw no potential and if she was below average looking, I would tell you to not waste your money and your time and just take her home.” I still remember how those words changed my life and how it to be given “HOPE.”

       Dr Norman Orientriech gave me my life back. He slowly filled up face with small monthly amounts of silicone every month. I waited for hours sometimes in his waiting room filled with well dressed very attractive NYC socialite types of women. When I finally saw the doctor he would take photos of my face and inject over 100 or so painful silicone injections into my right upper lip and lower cheek and chin area until the small vial containing the carefully measured monthly amount of silicone was empty.The whole routine took about 5 minutes.  He would barely say anything to me or my mom except “See you next month.”

I teenage years were taken away from me socially. I still had tons of girlfriends who were “True Friends” and never left my side while I was disfiqured. They treated me exactly the same although there lives were all about going to parties and having boyfriends. I wasn’t jealous, I listened to their stories and was happy for them. If somebody in school made fun of me or called me things like “Scarface” and one of my many popular friends were present they would defend me and verbally attack  these few immature mostly male bastards.

Over 100,000 dollars and over a 100 or so monthly trips to Dr. Norman Orientreich , my face was finally almost scar free. The scars I endured battleing this illness emotionally would still haunt me till this day.

I was 22 years old, engaged and well, okay quite beautiful the last time I saw Dr. Norman Orientriech. I was all grown up and Dr. Orientriech looked younger every time I saw him over the past 10 years. He was now developing skin care products for Nuetrogena and Clinique . That day we both decided that I didn’t need any more injections. His job was done and the promise he made my mom and me over 10 years prior came true.

Mr. Orientriech wished me well and hugged me tight and like always he was in a rush to see his next patient but I could see he had tears in his eyes.

That was over 30 years ago.

On this Father’s Day I want to dedicate this post to Dr. Orientriech a dedicated dermotologist who invented so many skin products and procedures years before other top doctors in his field. He is also a loving father. His son David and daughter Catherine are both Dermotologists have their practice in the same NYC office.

I saw David Orientriech a few weeks ago for some touch-up work on my face. He told me that his dad was now retired and 90 years old.

At the end of visit David Orientreich looked at me closely and said to me “I finally know who the girl in the photo still sitting on his father’s desk for so many years is!”

“It’s you!” The girl in the photo was me indeed. What a honor!

Happy Fathers Day Dr. Norman Orientriech ❤️

 

 

Love This Princess Right


 If you are in a relationship like the one described in the above photo you are loved.

 If not you may want to take a step back and take a long look in the mirror. Do you look happy and feel loved? If not you should re-evaluate your current relationship and ask yourself “Don’t I deserve to be respected and adored.?

    The answer is “yes.” 


Is your crown  slipping????  If so maybe this relationship isn’t meant to be. If you are put down, insulted, controlled, sad, and cry more than you laugh  ….. walk away now. 

 You don’t destroy people you love.

I Live Minutes Away From The Amityville Horror House!

  
  Yes this is the actual infamous Amityville Horror house located on 112 Ocean Drive where six members of the DeFeo family were shot to death execution style including both parents and four of their sleeping children on November 13, 1974 by 23 year old by the oldest son Ronnie DeFeo. 

      In 1977 the Lutz family bought the Amityville waterfront property on Ocean Drive and were quoted as saying they “could handle living in the house.” Many speculated  the Lutz’s  bought the Amityville house to capitalize on the tradgic deaths of the DeFeo Family. The Lutz’s claimed to experience demonic and supernatural events including foul odors and seeing “green slime ”   were considered hoaxes by most local residents and paranormal experts. The Lutz’s moved out of the Amityville house a few months later. They eventually had a book deal and six movies were made based on the Amityville Horror house. 

        When I moved to the south shore I never ventured to Ocean Drive to check out the Amityville Horror House. I really had no interest to visit the site. One night my husband took me to a italian restaurant called “Mama’s” which we heard had really good italian food. It was located in Amityville. After a delicious dinner and the best baked clams I ever had in my life my husband made on the way home made a turn onto Ocean Drive. I was like no way are you taking me to the Amityville Horror House! He just laughed at me. Since I am a horror and paranormal junkie I was a little intriqued. It took it a little while to find the house since the new owners changed the actual house number address for privacy reasons but once I spotted the only house on Ocean Drive which even in the dark I could see the famous  boathouse I knew I we found the house. 

     There were two cars in the driveway so apparently the house was occupied I noticed. Since I am intuitive, my husband asked me if I wanted to get out of the car and walk around. I declined his idea right away. The well groomed house with protective a black steel fence surrounding the front of the house was the new owner’s way of saying “No Tresspassing”  

     To be honest I really wanted to go home. I saw the the Amityville Horror House and it looked like every other well groomed house on Ocean Drive. 

      A few weeks later I was getting my hair colored and my colorist who lived in Amityville told me that that all locals knew  the true story of why Ronnie DeFeo killed his entire family. She told me he was a crytal meth addict. “That is why he heard the voices telling him to kill his family.” 

      I felt so sad for the DeFeo family who died so senselessly . The next day I went back to the Amityville House and left six red roses on the front lawn. One for each of the six DeFeo family members who were brutally murdered . This wasn’t a fairytale. This was real. 

  I never will return to that house again……..

  

    

My Princess Daughter Goes To Work

 

   A few months ago my 17 year old daughter Nikki came home and said “Guess what happened today?” Before I even had a chance to reply she burst out “I got a job mommy!”
     She totally caught me off guard considering the fact I had no idea she was even looking for one. She went on to tell me that she was in her favorite local boutique, Reign,where she frequently shopped and summoned up the courage to ask the owner if they were hiring. 

     The owner smiled and  asked her some basic questions about what grade she was in and her age. When my daughter informed her she was 17 and finishing up her Junior year in high school.  The owner then told her that she normally only hires college age girls that have some prior retail experience. Instead of taking her comments as a rejection, my daughter didn’t get intimidated and told the the owner that she loves fashion and was a quick learner. The owner was suddenly listening now! Nikki added that she lived minutes away from the store and had her own car to get there. Impressed by her attitude and determination looked Nikki up and down and commented “You certainly have the right look and style to work here.” Then she hired Nikki on the spot. 

     It wasn’t a easy transition for Nikki who suddenly had give up her after school naps and couldn’t hang out with her friends as often especially since she worked almost every weekend. She made some personal sacrifices but when she started to get weekly paychecks she had a new found sense of independence and I watched my little girl transform into a beautiful responsible young woman. 

    On my birthday she bought me a beautiful pair of Tori Burch sandels. I was so touched because I knew how many hours she worked to pay for them. I told her she shouldn’t have spent so much of her own money on a gift fot me but she dissagreed and said “Mommy, it’s the first time I bought you a present you deserve because I love you so much!” Of course I cried. 

     Nikki continued to work and she would come home with stories about customers who she helped find the “perfect” outfit to wear for a special ocassion or a college student who needed a whole new wardrobe. Nikki told me how she so good she felt  when she saw a customer smiling as they looked at themself  in the mirror in a outfit she helped them pick out. 

     That was about six months ago and my daughter still works there. It took very little time to prove to owner she made the right decision. Only about a month after she started working , the owner told her that although she was the youngest employee she ever hired and proved to be a valuable asset to her very busy boutique. She even was named “salesperson of the month” that affirmed  Nikki was doing a excellent job at Reign. 

      I also shop in this trendy store where I now even get a 20 percent discount! A perk of being Nikki’s mom. Lol. One day when I was in the store the owner pulled me aside and told me that Nikki was loved by her customers and the store staff. “I am adopting Nikki,” she joked.  “You can have her until she leaves in a year for college.” I jokingly repied.Then she said on a more seriously note “You should be so proud of yourself for raising a daughter that is so responsible, confident and respectful of others.” She added “These things can’t be taught at school.”

       As I left the store that day I thought to myself although me and husband certainly weren’t perfect parents we did a pretty good job raising our Nikki! 

       I am one proud mommy!

 

   Nikki and Me
    

Not Every Witch Lives In Salem

There are witches all around us. Most are good and have only the best intentions. I should know because my mother always claimed she was a witch! Like most witch’s she was a strong woman who fiercely loved and protected my family at any cost. My mother taught me while growing up that being a “good” person was more important than any religion. She warned me that although she felt most people were “good” I would come in contact with a few people in my life who were truly evil.  She seemed to have this 6th sense to spot a dark soul or what she referred to as having the “evil eye.”  

My mother didn’t have a book of spells or cook up a special brew to get rid of people who crossed her path with the intention of causing her and my family halm. All I know is she somehow fought back and they never crossed her path again. 

 Witches are misunderstood. My mom didn’t fly around on a broomstick or wear a pointy hat. However, she loved black cats and of course we had one that always sat on my mother’s lap. LOL! 

 My mother only wished the best for her friends and her family. She was a role model and such a positive inspiration in my life . Even though My mother called herself a “witch” to me she was angel on earth . 

   
 
 

   Happy Halloween!!!!!! 

The Princess Who Drank Too Much

  My older sister has had a long history with alcholism. I tried to help her with her problem but I simply couldn’t get through to her. She denied her problem and I continued in my late teens driving her to several bars the night after a major binge because she was so drunk the night before she didn’t remember where she left her car. At least she somehow got home safely and didn’t get behind the wheel. 

 
     It was only a matter of time before her luck would run out and it did.

      I owned a clothing boutigue in Roslyn and it grossed over a million dollars in sales the first year I opened the store at the young age of 23. Since my store was so successful my older sister left her teaching job and joined my staff. I was against the whole idea but had no choice since my mom was the president of my corporation. 

     It started out fine for the first few weeks. Then I noticed my sister was slurring her words when she spoke to customers every now and then.  The problem esculated and my manager Jody who worked with my sister on my days off and she told me that my sister was getting too out of control and the customers were starting to notice.

      One rainy night jody offered to drive my sister home because she was extemely drunk and could barely walk. Of course my sister told her she was fine and to mind her own business. 

       On the 2 mile ride to our house her car skidded and she hit a telephone pole. Me being newly married got the call from my frantic parents who told me to meet them at the hospital. The first things I saw when I found my sister’s room was that she had a bloody lip and to my horror was hancuffed to the hospital bed. My sister motioned me to come to her and whispered to me to take her handbag out of the room. 

    As I passed my father who was crying to the police officers who happened to know my family because our house alarm that was connected to the police station was always going off. He was begging them not to take her to jail that night after the plastic surgeon treated her lip. 

     My mom most of noticed how I was trying to pass the police holding my sister’s large handbag and she quickly joined me when I managed to sneak it out of the room. She followed me to the ladies room and we found in her bag a half full bottle of vodka which we opened and poured the rest down the drain. Then we saw a large trash can and tried to bury the huge bottle under hundreds of paper towels we pulled from the dispenser. 

      I felt like I was aiding a felon but family love was always unconditional in my life and me and my mom just had to take care of my sister even if meant hiding the evidence. 

       My father managed to save my sister from going to jail that night and took her home .  She had to appear in court a few days later and since it was her first offense they pleaded her case down to driving while impaired.

         I on the otherhand was so traumatized by the experience from that night on if I have more than obe drink I will not get behind the wheel. 

    Unfortunately my sister didn’t learn from that night and got 2 more DWI’s s and even lost her teaching license. 

     Do not drink and drive!!!!!!!!!! 
 

       

Take A Gamble On Love

Love finds you when you least expect it.

    I went on a last minute vacation to the trendy El San Juan Hotel in Puerto Rico with my parents. I had just moved back to there home in Roslyn on the North Shore of Long Island after I left my first husband after 14 months of newlywed hell.

     I was barely 26 years old when my divorce was final and was suddenly single for the first time in my life since I was seventeen. Even though my parents were happy the marriage was over because they never liked the guy, I could tell they were not too thrilled to have their “little princess” back living in their house. 

     They had a plan, take me away to Puerto Rico, a week after I moved back home, and hopefully I would meet someone. Really? Was that even possible? My mom who claimed to have phychic abilities must have received a sign! Lol! 

     The first night in Puerto Rico my parents went to bed and left me alone at a blackjack table with a couple of black chips each worh a hundred dollars. I remember getting strange looks from the other players who eyed my black chips probably thinking why I was sitting at a blackjack table with a ten dollar minimum bet. 

    I looked totally clueless and I guess I was because it was a few years since I played blackjack. The basic rules like don’t hit on 17 etc I remembered and It wasn’t until a few vodka shots and about five hands later I noticed a really cute dark haired guy smiling at me across the table.

      Then I suddenly remember getting dealt really bad cards and not quite knowing whether to take a hit or not, this cute stranger was trying to offer his advice. Then the person playing next to me got up and the cute guy got up and sat next to me. 

     So we played blackjack and flirted through every hand. I found out his name was “David” who happened to be a lawyer and lived in a condo in NYC. 

       We took the elevator to my floor located on the penthouse and he was impressed. I informed him My parents were seasoned gamblers and were treated like royalty at this hotel. We had a few cocktails at the private bar on my hotel floor. He kissed me and it felt so right.

   At about three in the morning I went back to my hotel room and my mom was furious at me for coming in so late.  I told her mom “I met a cute 31yr old lawyer from NYC.”  She suddenly calmed down and smiled.  Maybe my mom is really phychic ????? 

  
      I moved into David’s penthouse condo six months later and was engaged to him within a year I was living like Carrie Bradshaw having sex in the city without the drama. 

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    Yes I still have the same Dior tee 

        

 

     

Sexual Abuse Is Not A FairyTale 

When I was in my teens I made my first gynocologist appointment because I had a serious boyfriend and wanted to go on the pill. Since I came from a strict family I was too afraid to tell my mother or ask her advice on what local doctor I should see. I was young and scared so I decided I wanted to see a female doctor and found one online. I told nobody about my appointment and went to this doctor myself. She seemed friendly and knew right away by my nervous composure I had never had a internal vaginal exam. I remember she tried to tell me the exam was “No big deal, ” with a smile. I remember putting my legs in the stirrups and feeling very uncomfortable. She inserted her finger and then some kind of metal object into my vagina. It felt extremely painful and even though it was my first vaginal exam my I thought to myself that something about this exam was just not right. After what seemed like forever the exam was finally over. The doctor had this weird look on her face as she told me to get dressed. When I got off the table and stood up I doubled over in extreme pain. I thought to myself the vaginal pain was probably normal since it was my first exam. I drove home with my prescription for the pill and couldn’t stop my gut instict telling me I was sexually violated. A few weeks later I was having lunch with a friend of mine who told me over lunch about her recent visit to her gynocologist. Her story was almost exactly identical to my experience. I then asked her the name of her doctor and was sick to my stomach when I found out she saw the same female gynocologist I saw. My friend and I were both sexually abused by the same woman. We went together and filed police reports and we were told that they would look into the matter but informed us most likely nothing could be done about the compliants because we had no physical evidence she had sexually violated us. A few weeks passed and my friend told me that her father, who happened to be a cardiologist, looked into the matter after she decided to tell him about the still very traumatic experience. He found out at least twenty other young women also filed reports with local police that they were sexually violated by this doctor. We all had one thing he noticed in common, it was all our first experience being vaginally examed, and that was very disturbing the fact just how many others like ourselves were also victims of a sexual crime and never knew it! He then filed a formal complaint the state medical board. After a formal long investigation, the woman gynocologist who sexually abused so many young women had her medical license revoked. Over twenty years later I told my 17 year old daughter, who I suspected is sexually active, that when she is ready to see a gynocologist for the first time I would make all the arrangements and go with her. She smiled and replied “Of couse I will mommy I tell you everything.” The point I am trying to make is maybe my still sexually traumatic experience could have been avoided if I had the type of mother I could have confided in about my sexual issues. If you have daughters my advice is tell them never to be afraid to confide in you about anything. I can’t change what happened to me but I can make sure my two teenage daughters never have to go through what I did.
  

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