Tag: Death

Nobody Listened……

A few years after I experienced the tragic loss when a ex-boyfriend committed suicide, my brother confided in me that his close friend was telling everyone he was planning his own suicide.
This boy just recently watched his parents marriage end in a bitter divorce.  He lived just down the street from my house. I didn’t know him very well because he just recently moved to my north shore neighborhood, He always appeared to be happy and carefree whenever he came over our house. Now I was wondering after my brother told me his friend’s plan, what this 18 year old good looking only child was hiding underneath his smile.
I remember he had a bright blue expensive sports car and a cute girlfriend with long curly red hair, who worked in a children’s boutique just a few feet away from the store I worked in. He also picked her up after work in his beloved car.
Shortly after my brother told me that his friend was telling everyone he was going to commit suicide, his girlfriend became concerned and came to talk to me. She knew a little about my ordeal with Jeff’s suicide. She had to know by this point something was wrong with her boyfriend’s behavior. She told me she didn’t think her boyfriend was serious about taking his life and was just trying to get attention.
I totally lost it at that point and screamed at her “You have to get in touch with his parents right now!!!!”
She told me they were away in Florida. I had a flashback at this point. I remembered that Jeff’s father and his new wife were on a Princess Cruise somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean when they got the news of Jeff’s suicide. I had a really bad feeling about this boy. Planning a suicide takes careful planning. Like Jeff he planned on taking his life when one of his parents were away.
I was so angry that she was taking this so lightly or was she not telling me the whole story because she was too afraid to deal with this serious situation.
I then said to her, “Get me their phone number I will call them if you don’t.”
She never gave me the phone number that day. Nobody knew at the time it was less than 24 hours before this boy planned to take his life.
That Friday night this boy threw a farewell party for himself, but nobody took the theme of this party seriously.
I was on a date that Friday night and on my way home I noticed the whole block was filled with police cars and Flashing red lights. So many flashing red lights. I will never forget those lights.
I made my way into my house and my brother was sobbing in the kitchen. “He did it, He did it.” My brother totally was in shock.
After the farewell party broke up about midnight. This boy got into his favorite blue sports car and turned the motor on inside his closed garage.
Two hours after he said goodbye to his “friends,” he was now dead.
If anyone you know is talking about suicide and even if they seem to be joking about it, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!!!!!
Call 911 at once don’t wait. This life could have been saved if they only listened!!!!!!!!!

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The Kings Favorite Princess Daughter

The photo below is the last picture That was taken of me and my dad. It was taken at my younger brother’s wedding and given to me my my sister in law who said, ” Cheryl, I love this photo and want you to have it.”
She smiled as she put the photo in my hands. I hugged her and she whispered in my ear ” I know.” The tears already were streaming down my checks as I softly said , “Thank you for understanding and I will cherish this photo forever.
What she knew and acknowledged was the special somewhat confusing special bond my father and I shared. It was obvious to my mother and my three siblings that I was my father’s favorite. Others told me that they whenever I entered the room my father’s eyes would glow and he would often say, “That’s my Cheryl.”
My dad maybe was too obvious about his feelings about me and it caused friction and pain especially with my relationship with my mother.
She once said to me in a moment of anger, “If your father could have married you he would have.” This comment haunted me most of my adult life. She saw me like I was in competition for my dad’s affections. Like I was in some kind of incestuous relationship with my dad. This was completely delusional and untrue.
When my dad passed away less than a year after this photo was given to me. She commented,” Who is going to protect you now?”
I simply ignored her remark but once again she still had to make me feel like it was my fault my father was too obvious while he was alive that I was his favorite.
A few years later I had the urge to call her up on a random Sunday and finally set the record straight about me and my dad. I explained to her that I was so sorry and how wrong she was to think that I had any control on the way my father showed his affection towards me.
During that phone call I told her that I felt that the least loved by her out of my brother and sisters but I also
told her despite everything mom , ” I know you love me in your own way and I know I am LOVED.”
She then broke down and I could here her sobbing as she told me she made so many mistakes with me and how she wished she could take back so many things she said to me during the years.
I knew this was her way of coming to terms finally that although my dad made it a little too obvious I was his favorite child it was beyond my control and it wasn’t my fault. At the end of our conversation I felt I validated the love I felt for my mother before it was too late.
…… And it almost was, my mother died suddenly two weeks later in her sleep.
Don’t wait to say things to your loved ones. Say what’s in your heart now before it’s too late.

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